Saturday, February 4, 2012

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McGill never ceases to surprise me, whether it be through its ridiculous ploys for money, hilarious match-making initiatives, or my personal favourite, emails from the Dean.

I have to say, I admire the amount of charity work students here do. There are countless bakesales and fundraising events taking place at any given time. The best fundraiser I’ve ever witnessed was during exams last semester, in the middle of December. It was by far one of the coldest day we'd had so far, but the fearless swim team danced around the main gates in nothing but their bathing suits. The girls sported their one-pieces with Uggs, and the boys donned very skimpy Speedos. Having to walk right past them, I couldn’t help but laugh. I wanted to take a picture to send to Katie but figured that would have been beyond creepy. Nonetheless, their perfectly sculpted bodies weren't hard on the eyes...

Secondly, I don’t know what it is about this school, but students are always looking for ways to "hook people up." Wheeew. Last year, you’ll remember we had Like-a-Little, a mild form of online stalking; and this year we have our very own Social Network for Singles! The website, and I quote, reads, “Meet students from around the world for friendship, dating, relationships, and marriage.” MARRIAGE?! I think we might be getting a little bit ahead of ourselves here. From the looks of the hundreds of profiles…I can't find anyone I’d even remotely like to meet. Except maybe "GetatmeMcgillgurls." He could have potential... Who knows, maybe we’ll have better luck at the next SSMU Speed Dating Soirée.

Finally, to save the best for last, below is an excerpt from the latest email from our Dean:
“This message is a reminder of some basic rules governing life in Montreal. Please remember to be considerate about noise levels in the neighbourhood. The fine for loud noises and drinking in public in Montreal will set you back $146 if you are not careful. In addition, please note that the fine for public urination is $316.”
Normally, one would like to think that as students at McGill we are capable of appropriate public conduct. Moreover, one would hope the Dean of Students has more pressing issues on his plate than to warn us about the consequences of public urination. Suffice to say, we all need reminders every now and then and I sure wouldn't want to get stuck with a $316 fine!

My question is, how many complaints prompted him to send that email to all 34,000 students in the first place? Are graduate students notified too, or is it just for us unruly undergrads?

Funnier still, this is an annual email. I have an identical one in my inbox from last year. Nothing like a proactive email from the Dean to start the New Year!

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